new year. same me. or not?

so i’m the same, right?

fat. cute. wordy. lazy. I read too many books. I cook A LOT. my hair is big. addicted to social media. funny. hate to shop. love a clean house but also don’t like to do it. single mother to 1 kid, two teens and one adult.

you know, ME.

2018 is here. can you believe it? i’ll be 46 in a little over 7 months. i feel like it’s beyond a milestone birthday but i’m also over forty and kind of obsessed with the day i was born. currently looking at the color on my newly painted nails because once i start writing anything that i think other people will read at some point, i get what i can only describe as the writer’s equivalent of stage fright. i am so paranoid about whether my posts will be entertaining or informative,  if people will share what I write, if I’ll get feedback or if perhaps it will be so bad no one will say anything at all.

but who would believe such a thing about me? i am a great writer according to all my friends and family. but of course they are biased and not completely reliable when it comes to critiquing the missives of my heart and brain. yes, it’s dramatic and probably (likely) totally unnecessary because i’m still typing (which i also HATE to do, but how else do the words make it to the electronic page?). i was just researching a talk-to-type situation for my laptop. don’t judge me, dammit. I’M STILL USING MY FINGERS!

i so want to be a creative who not only creates great work, but also finds a way to make her art part of her daily life AND makes money doing so. but how do i balance the single parenting and the job and the school and the study and the non-existent love life and the running of a household and the friend and the sister and the daughter and the aunt and the cousin and the professional and the whatever other 900 things i happen to be on any given day? figure it out for me will you? i promise i am trying. look! still writing…

what else can i share that you don’t already know?

my sisters think i share too much. i tell all my business, according to them, but i just shrug. this is me. and some days it is a fun and exciting ride into a vast undiscovered territory and other days i want to get out of the car and walk straight into oncoming traffic. the truth is on most days it is both of these things plus the gamut of overly critical but thoughtful emotions and feelings brought on by the sun’s place in the sky when i made my debut on earth. Virgo to the core but born on the cusp of Leo; so earthy and nurturing but sarcastic and critical with the teeny-tiniest tendency to need a little shine.

welcome. again. LOL

One Comment Add yours

  1. You’re beautiful! Each day is celebration. Happy birthday when it gets here.


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