Yesterday I opened up Instagram and I had 17 likes and comments.

I didn’t remember what I posted that could have been so interesting so I hit the notifications icon and THIS is what I saw:

Sir.

First of all, who are you?

Number 2, who sent you?

And C, STOP!

Of course, I screenshot everything (receipts) before I block this nigga because he has a whopping 5 IG posts and 2 followers. Can you say “stalker” much???

End of story, right? Funny little anecdote to share with my girls and my readers.

I wake up this morning to an email.

I am slow I guess. I didn’t put two and two together until…

YES. THIS IS MY REAL LIFE.

If I wasn’t living it, I wouldn’t believe it.

For the record, this is not how you meet women online. At least not me. Ugh.