If y’all don’t know how crazy my family is… here’s the story:
I was ASLEEP at 12:15 am on a Monday night.
the phone rings. it’s sister number 3, Autumn.
So I answer SLEEPILY.
she says, “awww I’m sorry. how long you been asleep? are you really sleep?”
me: yes I’m asleep what’s up?
I hear another voice. it’s my number 2 niece in California, Tyla. “we have a question.”
“if a lady had a baby every nine months from the time she was 15 until she was 25, how many kids would she have?”
this is legitimately what these two woke me up for. I’m not making this up.
I’m like why?
Tyla said, “Autumn called me because she had cramps and I told her that her uterus was angry with her for not putting a baby in it.”
so, of course, the natural progression of thought with these two Virgo women is what would happen if you were pregnant every time you came on your period? (or something like that) smh… and we’re back.
this is how Covington crazy I am, I sit up and say: 10 years times 12 months is 120 months. 9 months goes into 120, 13 times. so you would have 13 kids with 3 months left over. Autumn says, “And 3 months times 10 years is 30 months.”
me: No. you don’t have 3 months left over every year, you have 3 months left over at the end.
by this time, I’m walking upstairs to use the bathroom, because they woke me up out of my sleep.
they are going back and forth about the 3 months because in Autumn-logic this fictional woman CANNOT have any grace period between pregnancies AND not have any months as surplus.
I clarify: so she gets immediately pregnant the moment she gives birth?
Autumn says, “Yes!”
now I’m in the kitchen getting yet another slice of cake that I don’t need and kool-aid, which is not only my least favorite flavor today, peach mango, but also made by my daughter, Jadyn, who as I proceed to tell my sister and niece: makes the worst kool-aid ever.
and I am LOUD.
because anyone who knows anything about this Covington clan, the decibels increase the sillier we get.
so i am adding sugar and stirring and still telling them how bad Jadyn’s kool-aid is.
then i say: and she might hear me talking about her because i don’t know if she’s awake.
Jadyn yells out, “I’m awake!”
we scream! LOL
Autumn says that Jadyn is probably in her room like Shelby from Steel Magnolias “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here mama!” and we are off on another tangent with Tyla saying that we like movies that beat you up or beat you down or something like that.
anyway, I have to tell Jadyn why I’m on the phone with them and she proceeds to do the math and yell from her room, “13!”
and i say: that’s what I said.
and Autumn says, “who else can we ask?” like my math and Jadyn’s math isn’t good enough.
now Jadyn is up and also somehow my mother, and other sister, Soni (who is Tyla’s mom) are both on the call as well.
I finally gave Autumn an answer that she could live with because the fictional woman could not live in peace with the 3 months hanging on to her like that.
so I told her if she has babies until she is 25 and a HALF, then she could add that 6 months to the 3 months and get 9 months for one more baby.
and Autumn kept repeating, “Because 6 months plus 3 months is 9 months.” over and over again.
then this hussy proceeds to tell me she has to go to SLEEP after she was the one who woke me up for this ridiculous conversation!
and I had to write it down before I could go back to sleep or forgot.
if you made it to the end, you’re welcome or I’m sorry, whichever one fits. LOL