Hypothetically Speaking…

Ladies. Take heed. Hypothetically.

So even if you’re feeling comfortably frisky and tipsy on a first date, do NOT under any circumstances, either real or imagined, give your date head in the car afterwards.

Yes, you are both adults, and yes, it might be fun and a little risqué, but from that point on whenever you get into his car he will (more than likely) automatically expect some kind of sexual favor.

A conditioned response to you sitting your ass in his car.
Like Pavlov’s fucking dog…

Pavlov

Even if you’ve just gone to IHOP and had a totally pleasant breakfast, with mediocre coffee and decent conversation, once you return to the car, he might just reach over and try to pull up your maxi skirt. Or even attempt to place your own hand on your own crotch and ask you to “massage it.”

He may also try to put your hand on his dick while he’s driving.

And even if you tell him “Look dude, I know I created this shit. This situation where you see me as the sex in the car chick... But it’s uber awkward and not in the least bit sexy.”

At 11:00 in the morning.

In broad daylight.

He might even say he gets it and then ask you to ride with him to the golf pro shop to return a club, but somehow then proceeds to drive you to a remote location like a park where he stops the car and attempts to pull you closer.

You could possibly resist while explaining to him yet again, why this shit ain’t going down. And he could be pretending to hear what you are saying while he deliberately unzips his pants..

Yep.

That could happen.

But you know what might happen next?

You could take one look at him and his raging hard on sticking out of his jeans, and burst out laughing until tears are leaking from your eyes.

Then, and only then, might he finally get himself together enough to immediately drive you home.

In total silence.

That could happen too.

but only to me…  Hypothetically.

One Comment Add yours

  1. James says:

    I am living soooooooooo vicariously through you, ma’am! 😉

    Like

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